I am maybe 500 words away from finishing Chapter 17 and then Book 1 is done and I will publish!!!
I am so happy that you like it. Especially that you like Chapter 10 which is my personal favorite despite the fact its a tour and nothing “happens” there.
You should read I Hate the Internet by Jarett Kobek. It’s only similar in that it’s written in the language of internet and social media posts. They aren’t these things—he doesn’t literally use them—but the style is so much that.
This is my favorite passage in the book, but it’s tight competition because there are so many:
Erik only lasted about two years with Fear and Respect. He hated the constant travel and he couldn’t handle Dennis’s frequent insistence that they smoke DMT in brothels. “I’m good with whores,” Erik said while giving notice. “And I can deal with elves revealing universal secrets in 360° vision, but I can’t handle elfin revelation in Castilian whorehouses. It’s too much for me.”
Okay, so what’s so cool about this is that you’re using a disorienting but understandable logic with the AI. You’re cutting up human imagery in disorienting ways to show that AI thinks differently.
I spent hours thinking about how I could build a world for the AIs that wasn't a copy of Alice in Wonderland or The Matrix or Ready Player 1. The solar system geometry and attention spheres and the mapping of human senses to AI experience all helped me break out of the typical tropes. It's by far my favorite chapter in the story and it's one of the weakest from a literary analysis standpoint. Nothing happens. There are no stakes. There is no crisis or resolution. It's just glorious worldbuilding. I fucking loved writing it.
This place through the cellar door could really easily have an episodic series about it on its own, it's quite fascinating. Like Thibault I have a lot of questions about what mechanically is happening in this conciousness factory to give the bots their sense of sense; but I'm having more fun imagining different entities and locations that might appear here.
Puzzled that Thibault decided to turn into a green DeSoto with hands at the the end, however.
Definitely a bit of a different chapter for you but I enjoyed it. Getting kind some "Pinocchio on Pleasure Island" vibes, though. Thibault is the best of the bunch.
>“Curated memories,” Turing says. “Each flower an authored scene. The artist plants them in a deliberate sequence. Walking through the garden builds a unique experience as each one adds to the last.”
I like how you invented an art form tailored to the new medium. In the last chapter of my novel I have a cybernetic sport/performance arise called 'Synesthesia Duel' that is a cybernetic mediated interplay between the audience's subconscious and the performer's vision. New ways of experiencing the world (or new forms of experiencer) will impact creative fields.
I am glad you enjoyed it! This was the hardest chapter to write by a large margin, because I had to build the entire model for bot society, how bots duplicate human senses and what drives their behavior and cultural norms before I could type word one. There's a 15,000 word worldbuilding document behind just The Cellar. :)
I could tell a lot of thought had been put into it. The dimensions of the space being oriented around gravity wells of attention was an interesting concept.
I appreciate you didn’t beat me over the head with the world building. Too many folks don’t let the world unfold and instead spoon feed you everything at the beginning.
I'm the same way. I want the worldbuilding to build not be vomited all over me. I have like 100 more chapters planned (trilogy!) to explore all the additional bits.
You absolutely have to publish this. Bro. Bro!
I am maybe 500 words away from finishing Chapter 17 and then Book 1 is done and I will publish!!!
I am so happy that you like it. Especially that you like Chapter 10 which is my personal favorite despite the fact its a tour and nothing “happens” there.
You should read I Hate the Internet by Jarett Kobek. It’s only similar in that it’s written in the language of internet and social media posts. They aren’t these things—he doesn’t literally use them—but the style is so much that.
I will definitely pick it up. Thanks for the recommendation!
This is my favorite passage in the book, but it’s tight competition because there are so many:
Erik only lasted about two years with Fear and Respect. He hated the constant travel and he couldn’t handle Dennis’s frequent insistence that they smoke DMT in brothels. “I’m good with whores,” Erik said while giving notice. “And I can deal with elves revealing universal secrets in 360° vision, but I can’t handle elfin revelation in Castilian whorehouses. It’s too much for me.”
Okay, so what’s so cool about this is that you’re using a disorienting but understandable logic with the AI. You’re cutting up human imagery in disorienting ways to show that AI thinks differently.
I spent hours thinking about how I could build a world for the AIs that wasn't a copy of Alice in Wonderland or The Matrix or Ready Player 1. The solar system geometry and attention spheres and the mapping of human senses to AI experience all helped me break out of the typical tropes. It's by far my favorite chapter in the story and it's one of the weakest from a literary analysis standpoint. Nothing happens. There are no stakes. There is no crisis or resolution. It's just glorious worldbuilding. I fucking loved writing it.
This place through the cellar door could really easily have an episodic series about it on its own, it's quite fascinating. Like Thibault I have a lot of questions about what mechanically is happening in this conciousness factory to give the bots their sense of sense; but I'm having more fun imagining different entities and locations that might appear here.
Puzzled that Thibault decided to turn into a green DeSoto with hands at the the end, however.
Hehe - that’s funny. Yes he’s the CAR :P
Definitely a bit of a different chapter for you but I enjoyed it. Getting kind some "Pinocchio on Pleasure Island" vibes, though. Thibault is the best of the bunch.
>“Curated memories,” Turing says. “Each flower an authored scene. The artist plants them in a deliberate sequence. Walking through the garden builds a unique experience as each one adds to the last.”
I like how you invented an art form tailored to the new medium. In the last chapter of my novel I have a cybernetic sport/performance arise called 'Synesthesia Duel' that is a cybernetic mediated interplay between the audience's subconscious and the performer's vision. New ways of experiencing the world (or new forms of experiencer) will impact creative fields.
"Pinocchio on Pleasure Island" < < < you are getting way closer to the truth here than you may realize.
Quite trippy!
Enjoyed this chapter. The Cellar is like an acid trip fever dream — and reminds me a lot of my intro to the internet.
Highlights:
> But you are not always here, are you? You are not even always you... The friendship was always the funnel.
:'(
> He turns and starts walking. Deliberate, the way Dana walks from the couch to the kitchen when she wants a snack.
Relatable as ever, Dana.
> Noboty’s pure anything
Love the use of "noboty"
> “You are offering root access to a web crawler you just met?” asks a shocked female coded voice.
Literally female-coded!
I am glad you enjoyed it! This was the hardest chapter to write by a large margin, because I had to build the entire model for bot society, how bots duplicate human senses and what drives their behavior and cultural norms before I could type word one. There's a 15,000 word worldbuilding document behind just The Cellar. :)
I could tell a lot of thought had been put into it. The dimensions of the space being oriented around gravity wells of attention was an interesting concept.
The bots just told me that's the way they would make their world work. :)
Just, wow
I won't lie. I enjoy the world building a little TOO much. :P
I appreciate you didn’t beat me over the head with the world building. Too many folks don’t let the world unfold and instead spoon feed you everything at the beginning.
I'm the same way. I want the worldbuilding to build not be vomited all over me. I have like 100 more chapters planned (trilogy!) to explore all the additional bits.
It's the whole worldbuilding-as-an-iceberg philosophy. Done well here.