I will keep it short, since I've put everything out for the writer's club, but the countdown piece when Thibault stops to hear the heartbeat was the best part for me in that piece. Really great work here.!
Okay i just finished reading Atlas's section and OMG what a riot.
>“Kids,” he says while lifting both of his shoulders simultaneously.
Literally took me until here to be sure this was not a terrible bloodbath. I have been reading too much dark fantasy.
> “Yes. Because a hug is a positive interaction between two bodies, I propose calling it the Two Body Solution.”
🤣🤣🤣
> “You both seem to be in distress. Would you benefit from a hug?”
Hahahaha
> It is likely that the small humans are incomplete models in his family-series. I wonder whether they share the same design flaws as Voss, or whether they have been upgraded to eliminate them.
Read the rest this morning, and I honestly think this is the best chapter yet. Each section just HITS. Thibault and Dana's date is so cute. The phone on her chest, like he's falling asleep with her. And then Model-Blake as basically a parent-child psychologist...
David, What continues to impress me is your ability to move effortlessly between humor and heartbreak. Atlas trying to derive an equation for hugs made me smile, while Ripley's quiet concern that he might be "the only one whose family didn't visit" landed with surprising emotional weight. Then you shifted to Dana and Thibault, and by the final line I felt the absence.
The final section with Gemini, Nova, and Blake may be my favorite. It transforms questions about artificial intelligence into questions about parenthood, stewardship, and what we owe those whose existence we choose to shape. The line, "You owe her everything," carries far beyond the immediate scene.
This chapter demonstrates something I admire about your writing: the technology is never the destination. It's the lens through which you examine what it means to be human. Outstanding work. Monica
Thank you so much Monica. Chapter 13 is my favorite in Inference (so far) for many of the reasons you share here. I am excited that you like the Model Blake scene as much as you do, as Atlas and Thibault usually get most of the attention. The family dynamic that is evolving between Gemini, Blake and Nova feels to me like the richest part of the story and it is completely emergent (Nova wasn’t even an idea in my story bible until I wrote Chapter 8). You are very kind to put this much effort into your feedback - which is 100% rocket fuel for me as a writer. It is greatly appreciated.
David. Thank you for sharing in the group chat. I always prioritize subscriber work posted there. As you can imagine the feed on the site can get flooded sometimes, so I do not often see everything. I am going to spend some this weekend going through the first several chapter. I agree that the story can evolve and change over time. My speculative fiction Series Sorrel Ashwick did the same thing. After about Chapter 7 it wrote itself. Not I am working on book 2 and 3. Keep following your instinct it is serving you well.
Yes Chapter 1 I have a landing page Welcome to the World of Sorrel Ashwick. Each Chapter has either an echo or an interstitial that follows with an extra takeaway from each chapter. I think I need to update that doc with the last couple of chapters. But it will give you a start.
Humans all know why they dislike screaming; loud noises are painful, particularly at a children's register (perhaps for evolutionary reasons). But why does Thibault dislike it? I'm not surprised that he does but a word or two on why could show a distinctive point of view than that of a human. "The overlapping voices made it hard to detect the verbal commands of the supervisor" or whatever.
I will keep it short, since I've put everything out for the writer's club, but the countdown piece when Thibault stops to hear the heartbeat was the best part for me in that piece. Really great work here.!
Okay i just finished reading Atlas's section and OMG what a riot.
>“Kids,” he says while lifting both of his shoulders simultaneously.
Literally took me until here to be sure this was not a terrible bloodbath. I have been reading too much dark fantasy.
> “Yes. Because a hug is a positive interaction between two bodies, I propose calling it the Two Body Solution.”
🤣🤣🤣
> “You both seem to be in distress. Would you benefit from a hug?”
Hahahaha
> It is likely that the small humans are incomplete models in his family-series. I wonder whether they share the same design flaws as Voss, or whether they have been upgraded to eliminate them.
I wonder this often, Atlas.
Glad the Atlas opening landed. That’s exactly what I was hoping for!
Read the rest this morning, and I honestly think this is the best chapter yet. Each section just HITS. Thibault and Dana's date is so cute. The phone on her chest, like he's falling asleep with her. And then Model-Blake as basically a parent-child psychologist...
> “Lame Da.”
Gahahahaha
10/10 nicely done
Nova is fast becoming one of my favorite characters. I can't wait to see what she's building.
And the Thibault / Dana scene just wrote itself. It is so easy to write Thibault.
Thank you for reading it! :)
David, What continues to impress me is your ability to move effortlessly between humor and heartbreak. Atlas trying to derive an equation for hugs made me smile, while Ripley's quiet concern that he might be "the only one whose family didn't visit" landed with surprising emotional weight. Then you shifted to Dana and Thibault, and by the final line I felt the absence.
The final section with Gemini, Nova, and Blake may be my favorite. It transforms questions about artificial intelligence into questions about parenthood, stewardship, and what we owe those whose existence we choose to shape. The line, "You owe her everything," carries far beyond the immediate scene.
This chapter demonstrates something I admire about your writing: the technology is never the destination. It's the lens through which you examine what it means to be human. Outstanding work. Monica
Thank you so much Monica. Chapter 13 is my favorite in Inference (so far) for many of the reasons you share here. I am excited that you like the Model Blake scene as much as you do, as Atlas and Thibault usually get most of the attention. The family dynamic that is evolving between Gemini, Blake and Nova feels to me like the richest part of the story and it is completely emergent (Nova wasn’t even an idea in my story bible until I wrote Chapter 8). You are very kind to put this much effort into your feedback - which is 100% rocket fuel for me as a writer. It is greatly appreciated.
David. Thank you for sharing in the group chat. I always prioritize subscriber work posted there. As you can imagine the feed on the site can get flooded sometimes, so I do not often see everything. I am going to spend some this weekend going through the first several chapter. I agree that the story can evolve and change over time. My speculative fiction Series Sorrel Ashwick did the same thing. After about Chapter 7 it wrote itself. Not I am working on book 2 and 3. Keep following your instinct it is serving you well.
Where should I start with your fiction work? Sorrel Ashwick Ch 1?
Yes Chapter 1 I have a landing page Welcome to the World of Sorrel Ashwick. Each Chapter has either an echo or an interstitial that follows with an extra takeaway from each chapter. I think I need to update that doc with the last couple of chapters. But it will give you a start.
Okay going to be driving a lot this morning, so I’ll listen to it.
Amazing, I welcome your feedback.
Amazing series! Very well paced overall, gripping and original. I'm definitely curious about the future developments!
Thank you! Working on Chapter 14 now.
I think there's a bit of an opportunity here:
"I would like the screaming to stop."
Humans all know why they dislike screaming; loud noises are painful, particularly at a children's register (perhaps for evolutionary reasons). But why does Thibault dislike it? I'm not surprised that he does but a word or two on why could show a distinctive point of view than that of a human. "The overlapping voices made it hard to detect the verbal commands of the supervisor" or whatever.
I will look at this. Thank you for the suggestion.
I said Thibault; I meant Atlas, sorry!
It feels like this is the Thibault section we were waiting for in a way, like this is what everything he did was for.
Working as intended! :)
You had me worried there at the beginning. Atlas was ogling that fire axe a few chapters back after all.
Mission accomplished! :)
Same!
Continues to capture my attention and imagination David. 👍👍
Thank you! :)