13 Comments
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Monica A Leyva's avatar

David, this was deliciously gothic. I loved how completely you committed to the tone, from the archaic cadence to the wonderfully grotesque imagery. The reveal that these two horrors have found their perfect match was equal parts unsettling and charming. "Partners in Grotesquery" may be my favorite phrase—it perfectly captures the spirit of the poem. Looking forward to Part Two! 🖤

David T Etheredge's avatar

Monica - thank you so much for the wonderful response. This is my first attempt at horror, romance OR poetry (I’m normally a Sci-Fi / Fantasy guy) so I’m pleased it landed for you.

The ritual I’ve prepared to summon Part 2 is in progress. :)

Monica A Leyva's avatar

I look forward to it.

The Nymph's Nook | E.D.Gibbs's avatar

This is giving Tim Burton vibes and I love it!

SnowPuppy's avatar

This is so brilliant. I especially love that you incorporated our dual shadow priest names from our nerd gaming days into this. <3 So in love with the language and the evocative gothic prose - /swoon

Eris Index's avatar

Dammit. This is so good it's almost infuriating, lol.

But, all is well that doesn't end well.

I'm ready for the next one.

When will it be?

David T Etheredge's avatar

I will publish part the third right after you publish Croke the 2nd! :)

Eris Index's avatar

🤣🐸🤣🐸🤣🐸

Gonz Paoli's avatar

"a thousand Husks her Passions Flayed"... Ouch! Haha great read David!

Eris Index's avatar

My first love was always poetry. This is... the very best kind.

“Hocus Corpus!” left their Lips

as Life she Sucked from Smitten Souls

Enraptured by her Flawless Form

Ensorcelled by her Ghostly Gaze

This is my favorite stanza, though it was a hard pick out of them all. Gothic language galore, and it blends and flows like butter on rye.

This dark ballad is an eye-catcher, and the diction... so freaking rich. The imagery in this is maddening, to be honest. I'm a little astounded that it works so well.

I'm here for the story, and I'll be waiting for part two. :)

David T Etheredge's avatar

I am so glad you liked this! I am really looking forward to getting the whole thing written. I'm imagining like 5 sets of 8 stanzas for the whole thing, though that may change.

Eris Index's avatar

That's awesome. I can't wait to see how it comes out.